


Snow What?

by Entropy House (AnonEhouse)



Category: Drake's Venture, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Fusion, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 01:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Entropy%20House
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas Doughty finds himself in bed with Grumpy Francis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snow What?

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

After fleeing for his life from the huntsman sent to take his heart to the queen Thomasnow was so weary that the sight of seven beds was irresistible, even though they were rather small and very dirty, as was everything else in this apparently abandoned house in the woods.

He knelt to offer up a prayer of gratitude before he stripped- his body was easier to wash than velvet, leather and fur- and curled up on the nearest bed. He was still trying to decide whether the place smelled more like a kennel or a stable when he fell asleep.

***

"Get out of my bed!" Francis yelled, grumpily. When the slender young man bolted upright, Francis noted the alabaster skin, the ruby lips, and the darker than amber eyes- tiger eye, really-, and said, "On second thought, stay right there." He leered and began undoing his belt buckle.

"Oh!" Thomasnow looked around at the seven short, but exceedingly muscular, and, it must be admitted, smelly, men. "I'm sorry to have intruded."

"Now that you've seen us," a stupid-looking fellow said, "we have to kill you."

Francis reached out and clopped the speaker on one large ear. "Shut up, Ned."

Ned whimpered and rubbed his ear. "I saw him pinch the trumpeter's bottom." 

Francis clocked him another one. "Go away, you idiot." 

Thomasnow cleared his throat. "It wasn't the trumpeter. It was the king." He lowered his beautiful eyelashes shyly. "I'm sure I'll be able to return to court soon, when the queen realizes we're only very good friends."

Another dwarf spoke up, "Brother, you can't trust this long-legs. He'll steal all our trea..." 

Francis's horny hand smacked out again, this time getting the speaker on the back of the head. "John, you're another idiot. Go to sleep, it's what you do best."

John snuffled and went off to the furthest bed and threw himself down, muttering about how mom always liked Francis best.

"Now, where was I?" Francis said, as he turned his attention back to Thomasnow.

He was interrupted by a sneeze.

"Fletcher!" 

The sneezer had the wit to back up before Francis could belt him one. "I'll... I'll just go draw some jewel... some islands! Yes, some nice square islands!" He scuttled out of the room.

"Do you have any comment, Leonard?" Francis asked, glowering at a dwarf hovering shyly in the background.. 

"No, no... it's just... he seems a nice young man. We couldn't maybe let him go..." Leonard ducked, unsuccessfully.

"Does anyone else have anything to complain about?" Francis licked his knuckles, which were beginning to redden.

"Not me, I'm happy to watch," Nuño said just before Francis knocked him out.

The last dwarf cleared his throat. "I saw this all in my ball." 

Francis growled.

"My crystal ball! This was meant to be! It was written in the stars!" John Dee made a few mystic passes that incidentally moved him closer to the door. He fled without getting smacked.

As quiet, (except for John Drake's muttering) filled the room, Thomasnow looked at Francis who had finally got the belt buckle undone and his trousers lowered. "I have only two words for you."

"What?"  

"Lube. And soap."

"Fucking gentleman," Francis grumbled as he unearthed a dusty bar of soap and a bottle of oil.

Thomasnow grinned and stretched his legs over the end of the bed. "Yes."

***

In another room John Dee smiled into his crystal ball, with Fletcher hovering at his side. "Grumpy will get laid and stop taking his temper out on us."

Fletcher sighed in relief. "Thank Heaven."

**Author's Note:**

> written for the DV 2010 ficathon
> 
> Cast of Dwarves:
> 
> Grumpy- Francis Drake  
> Dopey- Ned Bright  
> Sleepy- John Drake  
> Sneezy- Francis Fletcher  
> Bashful- Leonard Vicary  
> Happy- Nuño de Silva  
> Doc- John Dee


End file.
